What I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Postpartum Mom During the Fourth Trimester

By Dr. Katrina, PT, DPT, CSCS

Becoming a first-time mom absolutely flipped my world upside down. Now, going through the fourth trimester a second time with my 9-month-old, I’ve gained so much clarity about what I wish I had known after having my first child, who is now 5.

Rest. Truly rest.

In those first 6 weeks, your body is recovering from something huge—whether you had a vaginal delivery or a C-section. If your birth was traumatic, you also need time to process that mentally and emotionally. Soak in those newborn snuggles and let yourself be nap trapped. Sneak in naps whenever you can. Rest, rest, and rest some more.

Matrescence is real.

Matrescence is the incredible, complex process of becoming a mother. It’s the physical, psychological, social, and even existential shift that happens when you step into motherhood. You might feel completely lost as you try to figure out who you are now—and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It takes time to weave together your new identity as a mom with the person you were before. For some, it takes longer, and that’s okay.

The house will be a mess (and that’s okay).

Lower your expectations for a while. Let someone else cook or keep meals super simple. Use paper plates and disposable utensils to cut down on dishes. This season isn’t forever, but right now, it’s about survival, rest, and bonding with your baby.

Baby clothing sizes are chaos.

Don’t stress about the tags, baby clothes sizes make zero sense. A 12-month onesie might fit your 6-month-old today and be tight next week. Always go by how the clothes look, not what the label says.

Bluey is a gift.

Seriously, the show Bluey is a little gem for parents. The episode “Baby Race” should be required viewing for every mom in that first year. Be ready for tears—thanks, hormones. (This is only half a joke.)

Your body is not broken.

Your body is healing. Walking, gentle movement, and building back your strength are key to recovery in the postpartum period. Moving your body helps physically and mentally. If exercise doesn’t feel right or you don’t know where to start, reach out to a pelvic floor or postpartum physical therapist. (Even as a PT myself, I needed this reminder—I was my own worst patient!)

Motherhood is a wild, messy, beautiful ride, and the fourth trimester is just the start. Give yourself grace, lower your expectations, and remember that you’re learning right alongside your baby. The days might feel long, but this season is short. Trust that you’re doing an amazing job, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

You've got this, mama. 💛